Video Chapters

00:00 - How did we meet?

04:24 - How did I become a pastor?

08:58 - Why do I think Kendall is the one?

13:42 - Meet Kendall 😍

14:22 - Kendall's 1st Impression of me

14:47 - Why Kaleo

15:30 - Why Kendall thinks I'm the one

16:33 - Kendall's fav story about me

18:40 - Video by @freddiecrittenden

March 4, 2020

IT ALL STARTED WHEN…

I had my good friend, Vanessa, in town from Philly. While she was in town it had just come out in the news that they had the first confirmed COVID-19 case in the country.

I took off work that weekend and we had a blast. I took her to all of my favorite spots and we ended the weekend with dinner at one of my favorite places, Joyride Tacos. I invited a few of my friends to have dinner with me, my sister, brother-in-law, and Vanessa but the only friend who could make it was my friend Tor.

Tor winds up telling me she’s been vetting this guy for me named, Kendall, but she wasn’t yet sure if she should introduce us just yet. I was shocked. “WHAT?! How long has this been going on?” I thought. “How come I’ve never heard of him before? Why are you just now saying this? Is this a joke? Is she pulling my leg?” I had so many thoughts running through my mind.

I got home that night and Tor had put Kendall and I in a group chat:

HE DIDN’T REPLY IN THAT TEXT CHAIN…

But he text me separately right away and asked about where I was going to church, how I knew Tor, etc. Low key, I felt like he was trying to vet me a bit more and see if I was worth asking out. He did wind up asking me if I wanted to get coffee or tea (he hates coffee) that Saturday so we went.

I said yes and hoped that maybe he could be somebody I could hit it off with. To be honest, Tor was the last person I thought would set me up with someone just because we’ve never talked about guys like that before, so for me, I was caught off guard when she brought it up at dinner.

I showed up early and was honestly so nervous. I had never been on a blind date, my heart was racing, I was in a new place, and he wasn’t there yet. I needed to find something to do with my nervous, sweaty hands so I decided to buy myself a coffee and take a seat.

He arrived shortly thereafter and as soon as I saw him I calmed down. He was so personable and easy to talk to. Even people that didn’t know him seemed to admire him and be attracted to his energy. His nature was peaceful and friendly.

We wound up sharing each other’s stories and after hearing my background he told me about this church called Kaleo Phx that he thought I would really like. He said it was a church that his mentor, Chris Townley, helped start and that they were looking for a female minority pastor to join their team.

Honestly, I was NOT interested as I loved my job at The Smithee Group, had just started my first business, and also had a podcast. I felt for a long time that I was called to pastor but had given up on it — believing that maybe my form of pastoring would be online through podcasting and digital media. BUT, I also didn’t want to not show interest in Kendall….BUT I also didn’t want to pursue this opportunity just because I wanted to keep getting to know him. So I proceeded with caution and trusted God with every step. From that moment I made a commitment, to be honest with myself and others along the way.

Kendall invited me to attend Kaleo with him that Sunday night — an easy second date ;). I felt there was no harm in checking it out, so I went.

March 8, 2020

I honestly really enjoyed the service. I’ve spent most of my life in full-time ministry but I had NEVER seen a service done like that. It was a new church plant so things were by no means perfect, but I also was somewhat attracted to it not being polished. Chase Brown spoke a very open-ended, heartfelt message, and I thoroughly enjoyed the gathering at The Table which is a central part of their culture and ethos. I met Chris Townley for the first time and he wound up reaching out to me later on asking if we could chat.

I honestly didn’t know what to expect — here’s this new guy I just met that I kind of like and in the same weekend he introduces me to this church and his mentor. It was kind of a lot, but again, I decided to proceed with caution and trust God with every step.

I wound up having coffee with Chris a week or so later to learn more about Kaleo and after hearing his story, I thought he would be a perfect interview for my podcast. I was honest with him about not looking to be in full-time ministry and he respected that. He didn’t pressure me at all and welcomed my very direct questions about their church culture. He answered every single question without hesitation.

Low key, I was also trying to get a feel for who Kendall was if this guy was his mentor 😉.

April 21, 2020

FAST FORWARD THROUGH THE SUMMER OF 2020…

Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to hang out with Kendall very much. We had initially made plans to hang out a few times but those plans got canceled due to COVID. So…we just stayed in touch and slowly started to get to know each other more and more. We spent more time talking on the phone than we did seeing each other in person.

I tell people now that I felt like I was living out my own version of the Netflix series, Love Is Blind. I would sit in my closet and we would talk for hours about faith, culture, race, church, ethics, theology, family — SO many things.

Before the pandemic, I was attending church with my parents but prayerfully trying to figure out what church looked like for me. I’ve always attended whatever church my parents went to (which I still love to do), but never sought out a church for myself as an adult.

During quarantine, no one was going to church so I started showing up to Kaleo’s Zoom gatherings. It was definitely weird to show up and talk with people I had never met before, but something was pulling on my heart and telling me that this was the right thing, the right place.

You may have seen this video, but after Ahmaud Arbery died, Chris asked me to share at Kaleo on Zoom so I wrote something that wound up being such a life-changing moment for me.

May 12, 2020

IF YOU’RE KEEPING UP WITH THE STORY…

Ever since I met Kendall, my life just keeps getting better and better. Because of him, I found a new church home, I met Chris Townley and Chase Brown, I met Tana Padilla and interviewed her on my podcast who found me because of the video I did for Kaleo. I’ve become more sure about my purpose and calling, and now, I will be serving as a Pastor of Kaleo Phx in January 2021. That’s right, God just kept tugging at my heart and I believe in what Kaleo is doing and i feel like that’s a community I want to help serve and be a part of.

All of this happened because of Kendall…set in motion by Tor (I really owe you one, friend 😉).

Kendall is definitely something special….

Something I prayed for but, at times, never thought would come…

But now he’s here…and I love him so.

We’ve been talking since March 6th and dating officially since August 25th.

Photos taken by Tor Hawley Creative.

SO…WHO IS KENDALL DOOLEY?

Kendall is also a pastor — I know, crazy right?! He currently pastors at New City Church in downtown Phoenix and is so beloved by their community. I’ve met countless families, adults and students who adore, admire, and look up to Kendall in so many ways.

He grew up in Iowa/North Carolina and comes from a family of pastors. His Dad and brother both pastor at a church in Cedar Rapids called New City CR. Kendall graduated with a degree in justice and criminology and is currently going through seminary to further his studies. He has a brilliant mind, a big heart, a loud laugh, and carries such a peaceful presence.

Kendall is really special and I never would have thought someone like him would have come into my life during a world-wide pandemic.

The timing is also unique in that during this time in the country when cases like Breonna Taylor turned out the way it did — to be loved, chosen and cared for as a Black woman is something I treasure and value. The world may not value my Black life as much as others…but Kendall does. It’s really something special to be chosen and loved as a Black woman by a Black man. Black love still exists.

My next podcast episode is going to be with Kendall, so if you have any questions, let me know below and we’ll answer them!

As a church family, Kaleo gathers in homes around the table. But we also meet corporately in a church building. In the most hopeful sense, a church building is a symbol to the city that Jesus is alive and present. Tragically, more and more of these sacred spaces are closing their doors and being torn down. In this cultural moment church spaces are considered a part of the past, not the future. We are passionate about creating space in Central Phoenix that represents the life giving presence of Jesus and the future hope of God’s kingdom in our city, so we gather at Grace Lutheran Church (1124 N 3rd St, Phoenix, AZ 85004) in a space that preaches the hope of Jesus. May it be in Phoenix as it is in Heaven.

The Story of Us